No Answers

Yesterday was my first visit back to my OB since Ella passed. I was expecting to get my blood test results back but not the autopsy results. I was told the autopsy results would take 6 weeks. I was surprised to discover that all of the results were in including the autopsy. All tests were NORMAL! I was normal. Ella was normal. We have no answers and will probably never have any answers. So, needless to say, yesterday was difficult. I found myself becoming very angry. I am having a hard time accepting that my baby was taken away and there was no good reason for it. I am tired of people telling me that "everything happens for a reason". I just don't want to hear that right now.